Me and Becky have just arrived in Colignon – an orchard
around 40minutes drive outside of Mildura - in order to complete our final 20
days of farm work to reach the golden number, 88! It’s all downhill from here,
yet at this moment in time it still feels like an unbearably long battle.
At the time of starting the farm work, I had been in Gold
Coast for one month. Not really long enough to decide if the second year was necessary
but I saw an opportunity to do the work with my gal, who had been in the
country and little longer than I had and therefore had less time to work, and
so took it. The thought of farm work is horrendous, so why not ease it a little
with company? So we moved to Shepparton and began the work immediately. It took
us 4 months to get our first 68 days completed. It will have taken us 5 months
by the time we finish.
The work is tedious and sweaty and gross. If I had my time
over would I do the work again? This is a question I’ve presented to myself
about 100 times over the past 4 days as I get settled back into farm life. But
please allow me to clarify, that is not to say I regret a moment of it – we’ve
had some fun, met some pretty awesome people and experienced a lifestyle I
would never have imagined otherwise. However, at this stage, I’m unsure as to
whether I even want the second year.
But, as I’m sure you’d all agree, to get to 68/88 days and
ditch the idea would be ridiculous. You can use the second year anytime before
hitting the age of 30 (which is actually scarily close when I try to make some
sort of life plan for myself). So onward I go, currently working with
pomegranates..
Much like the entirety of the human race, I really struggle
with the periods of adjustment and change. After an interesting two weeks
staying in Melbourne, I’m questioning why I would leave such an environment and
such people to sweat it out for another 3-4 weeks. While in Melbourne, I caught
up with friends from home, friends from Aus and got to know new friends. We travelled
to some beautiful places, played stupid pc games and generally had a lovely
time. And that is despite the expected frustrations of living in a 6 bed house
with 14 people and a communal attitude I am extremely unfamiliar with as an
only child (JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD).
To add to this, recent events have occurred that really
reminded me of the fragility of life and how fleeting our time here is. As
anyone who knows me will already know, I absolutely SUCK at sticking out
situations that make me unhappy. Which I often see as both a strength and flaw
within myself. It has cost me a fair bit of money in the past, but I’ve always
prioritised what I want to do and what will make me happy. This would probably
be more of a strength if I really took time to reflect on what would make me
happy, however chasing instant gratification and sense of security/familiarity
is where I let myself down.
Which brings me to this precise moment. In the long run – I know
that getting this farm work completed will not only allow me to have more
freedom with future travel plans, but will give me a huge sense of achievement.
But right now? Nah I wanna go back to a city where I can drive an hour and half
to beautiful beaches, get a tram for half hour to bars and great food or enter
the communal areas and just hang out with likeminded people.
One of the lessons that travelling will hopefully help me to
learn is that everything in fleeting and changing and fluid. You can’t yearn
for a time that’s gone because in reality, that time no longer exists. People
move on, situations change. Even if I were to run away back to Melbourne where
I’ve spent the past couple of weeks, I’d not have the same people to hang out
with as employment statuses change and people move on for work. That’s not to
mention that I myself would have to seek work at that point, as it would no longer
be a two week break, but an ongoing situation.
So why is it that those rose tinted glasses remain to make
me so unhappy and want what no longer exists? It’s the same sensation I’ve had
time after time when returning home from overseas. Why is it so hard to do
something purely for my own benefit in the long term? Instead, I want to chase
things that make me happy instantly and probably set me further back in the
longer term.
One can only hope that age or practise will help me improve on
this one, because I’ve done a pretty lousy job up to this point. See you in the
hot tub with champagne in 4 weeks when this trial is over.