Back to the farm..

Me and Becky have just arrived in Colignon – an orchard around 40minutes drive outside of Mildura - in order to complete our final 20 days of farm work to reach the golden number, 88! It’s all downhill from here, yet at this moment in time it still feels like an unbearably long battle.

At the time of starting the farm work, I had been in Gold Coast for one month. Not really long enough to decide if the second year was necessary but I saw an opportunity to do the work with my gal, who had been in the country and little longer than I had and therefore had less time to work, and so took it. The thought of farm work is horrendous, so why not ease it a little with company? So we moved to Shepparton and began the work immediately. It took us 4 months to get our first 68 days completed. It will have taken us 5 months by the time we finish.

The work is tedious and sweaty and gross. If I had my time over would I do the work again? This is a question I’ve presented to myself about 100 times over the past 4 days as I get settled back into farm life. But please allow me to clarify, that is not to say I regret a moment of it – we’ve had some fun, met some pretty awesome people and experienced a lifestyle I would never have imagined otherwise. However, at this stage, I’m unsure as to whether I even want the second year.

But, as I’m sure you’d all agree, to get to 68/88 days and ditch the idea would be ridiculous. You can use the second year anytime before hitting the age of 30 (which is actually scarily close when I try to make some sort of life plan for myself). So onward I go, currently working with pomegranates..

Much like the entirety of the human race, I really struggle with the periods of adjustment and change. After an interesting two weeks staying in Melbourne, I’m questioning why I would leave such an environment and such people to sweat it out for another 3-4 weeks. While in Melbourne, I caught up with friends from home, friends from Aus and got to know new friends. We travelled to some beautiful places, played stupid pc games and generally had a lovely time. And that is despite the expected frustrations of living in a 6 bed house with 14 people and a communal attitude I am extremely unfamiliar with as an only child (JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD).

To add to this, recent events have occurred that really reminded me of the fragility of life and how fleeting our time here is. As anyone who knows me will already know, I absolutely SUCK at sticking out situations that make me unhappy. Which I often see as both a strength and flaw within myself. It has cost me a fair bit of money in the past, but I’ve always prioritised what I want to do and what will make me happy. This would probably be more of a strength if I really took time to reflect on what would make me happy, however chasing instant gratification and sense of security/familiarity is where I let myself down.

Which brings me to this precise moment. In the long run – I know that getting this farm work completed will not only allow me to have more freedom with future travel plans, but will give me a huge sense of achievement. But right now? Nah I wanna go back to a city where I can drive an hour and half to beautiful beaches, get a tram for half hour to bars and great food or enter the communal areas and just hang out with likeminded people.

One of the lessons that travelling will hopefully help me to learn is that everything in fleeting and changing and fluid. You can’t yearn for a time that’s gone because in reality, that time no longer exists. People move on, situations change. Even if I were to run away back to Melbourne where I’ve spent the past couple of weeks, I’d not have the same people to hang out with as employment statuses change and people move on for work. That’s not to mention that I myself would have to seek work at that point, as it would no longer be a two week break, but an ongoing situation.

So why is it that those rose tinted glasses remain to make me so unhappy and want what no longer exists? It’s the same sensation I’ve had time after time when returning home from overseas. Why is it so hard to do something purely for my own benefit in the long term? Instead, I want to chase things that make me happy instantly and probably set me further back in the longer term.

One can only hope that age or practise will help me improve on this one, because I’ve done a pretty lousy job up to this point. See you in the hot tub with champagne in 4 weeks when this trial is over.