Back to the farm..

Me and Becky have just arrived in Colignon – an orchard around 40minutes drive outside of Mildura - in order to complete our final 20 days of farm work to reach the golden number, 88! It’s all downhill from here, yet at this moment in time it still feels like an unbearably long battle.

At the time of starting the farm work, I had been in Gold Coast for one month. Not really long enough to decide if the second year was necessary but I saw an opportunity to do the work with my gal, who had been in the country and little longer than I had and therefore had less time to work, and so took it. The thought of farm work is horrendous, so why not ease it a little with company? So we moved to Shepparton and began the work immediately. It took us 4 months to get our first 68 days completed. It will have taken us 5 months by the time we finish.

The work is tedious and sweaty and gross. If I had my time over would I do the work again? This is a question I’ve presented to myself about 100 times over the past 4 days as I get settled back into farm life. But please allow me to clarify, that is not to say I regret a moment of it – we’ve had some fun, met some pretty awesome people and experienced a lifestyle I would never have imagined otherwise. However, at this stage, I’m unsure as to whether I even want the second year.

But, as I’m sure you’d all agree, to get to 68/88 days and ditch the idea would be ridiculous. You can use the second year anytime before hitting the age of 30 (which is actually scarily close when I try to make some sort of life plan for myself). So onward I go, currently working with pomegranates..

Much like the entirety of the human race, I really struggle with the periods of adjustment and change. After an interesting two weeks staying in Melbourne, I’m questioning why I would leave such an environment and such people to sweat it out for another 3-4 weeks. While in Melbourne, I caught up with friends from home, friends from Aus and got to know new friends. We travelled to some beautiful places, played stupid pc games and generally had a lovely time. And that is despite the expected frustrations of living in a 6 bed house with 14 people and a communal attitude I am extremely unfamiliar with as an only child (JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD).

To add to this, recent events have occurred that really reminded me of the fragility of life and how fleeting our time here is. As anyone who knows me will already know, I absolutely SUCK at sticking out situations that make me unhappy. Which I often see as both a strength and flaw within myself. It has cost me a fair bit of money in the past, but I’ve always prioritised what I want to do and what will make me happy. This would probably be more of a strength if I really took time to reflect on what would make me happy, however chasing instant gratification and sense of security/familiarity is where I let myself down.

Which brings me to this precise moment. In the long run – I know that getting this farm work completed will not only allow me to have more freedom with future travel plans, but will give me a huge sense of achievement. But right now? Nah I wanna go back to a city where I can drive an hour and half to beautiful beaches, get a tram for half hour to bars and great food or enter the communal areas and just hang out with likeminded people.

One of the lessons that travelling will hopefully help me to learn is that everything in fleeting and changing and fluid. You can’t yearn for a time that’s gone because in reality, that time no longer exists. People move on, situations change. Even if I were to run away back to Melbourne where I’ve spent the past couple of weeks, I’d not have the same people to hang out with as employment statuses change and people move on for work. That’s not to mention that I myself would have to seek work at that point, as it would no longer be a two week break, but an ongoing situation.

So why is it that those rose tinted glasses remain to make me so unhappy and want what no longer exists? It’s the same sensation I’ve had time after time when returning home from overseas. Why is it so hard to do something purely for my own benefit in the long term? Instead, I want to chase things that make me happy instantly and probably set me further back in the longer term.

One can only hope that age or practise will help me improve on this one, because I’ve done a pretty lousy job up to this point. See you in the hot tub with champagne in 4 weeks when this trial is over.

Welcome to Australia

So after two months of life down under, I have finally found time and inspiration to open up my laptop and capture some of the emotional whirlwind that this has been so far. Travel blog? Somewhat… Capturing all my emotional break downs and epiphanies along the way? Possibly… The only thing I can guarantee is that this is going to be all real and all me. This is new for me – I’d normally just stick to the travelling part, the funny stories. Those will come too! But I feel like this is such a rollercoaster and there are things I want to capture that fall outside of what I’d normally comfortably publish for all. For those of you who know me and don’t get to see this side of me for whatever reason, may I respectfully ask you keep all judgement to yourself :) We all make mistakes and I told you so or you’re a mug comments help no one and neither does unrequited advice ;) God it’s ridiculous that I even have to write that but here we go then:

I arrived in Gold Coast after 3 weeks in Singapore, 6 days before my birthday, ready to start my one year working holiday in Australia - the trip I’ve been dreaming about for years! The sun, the beaches, the cities, the partying, the Aussie hunks… All of it. The reason I’ve saved so hard and been religiously watching Home and Away and Bondi Rescue… and how did it feel? Euphoric? Too good to be true?

Nope it felt wrong. I was in the wrong place. I should be somewhere else... Okay, so perhaps I should rewind a little and fill in some more info for you guys.

I’d spent the previous 3 weeks in Singapore, where my Dad and his family lives, seeing a boy there who I’d met 6 months previously on a diving trip and had been talking to on a daily basis since. The last few weeks before leaving the UK, I’d barely even thought about Australia because of my apprehension and uncertainty about seeing him. But it was great! We went on a diving trip together (which he got me through… stupid seasickness..), we ate together, we stayed in fancy hotels together, we drank together. All seemed to be great until one day he just dropped off. He wasn’t interested in answering my messages or seeing me, despite knowing we had limited opportunity to actually spend time together. You have no idea how frustrating that is – I was infuriated! It’s one thing to ignore me when I’m halfway across the world, but when I’m literally 20mins away from your front door? Are you serious?

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, great just move on. He’s clearly not serious? And yes you’re right I probably should have moved on. But I was invested and genuinely thought we had a shot at something… so eventually he met with me and we had the conversation that needed to happen about the future and how hard it was going to be. And don’t get me wrong, it would have been hard. His job would have meant he would be at sea maybe 6 months at a time with 1 month on land between. Add to that, the cultural differences: a Singaporean Malay muslim boy and an English Buddhist girl – doesn’t take a genius to spot where the difficulties could have arisen. That’s how I saw them though – difficulties. Not roadblocks, but difficulties. Turns out I was alone in this thinking – but we agreed to a little more time. Everything was about to change, I was moving to Aus, close enough for weekend visits, we had til December when he’d be gone with work to figure out if it was worth the heartache. So that was agreed upon after a long night talking and lots of chicken nuggets and cigarettes.

And now we are back up to speed as about a week after this, I flew out to the Gold Coast. The first few nights were difficult. There was nothing stopping me being with him, in the same country as him, before his job made that impossible, yet here I was in Australia? The guilt was real. The feeling that I was just in the wrong place was crushing at night as I try to sleep.

And as you may have detected by the underlying bitterness in some of my writing - after less than two weeks in Australia, yet again, he drops off the edge of the world. Things became difficult after my request for a Skype call on or around my birthday (I mean gee.. how unreasonable...) until one day just no replies - even to this day may I add. Should I have seen it coming? Yes! Would I change a thing I did? Well, maybe I wouldn't be so wounded a second time around, but that's what experience teaches you I guess. I wouldn't change a thing I did, but my emotional reactions will be different in similar situations in the future.

So my feelings of guilt and being in the wrong place were completely misspent. I feel like I robbed myself of that glorious 'finally' feeling I should have had, by investing too deeply in someone who didn't invest half as much. But this is what I realised: it doesn’t matter how beautiful the surroundings, how hard you work to get there or how privileged you are to be there, if you’re not living in the here and now, the present moment, you can always find misery.

Lesson number one: try not to concern yourself with where else you could or should be, but make the most of where you find yourself. I’m not saying not to dream of better places, but don’t dwell on places that you can’t get to right now. You do nothing but rob yourself of happiness this way. 

Island of the Gods

Uluwatu

Backdated: 15th July 2013

So I’ve not blogged during this trip so far (nor for the few before this.. lazy me =/).. but last night I experienced something so extraordinary and strange to me that I want to record it for future reference and for anyone who wants to read it. 

Some background information – so I’m doing some research for university within a Villa Management company in Bali. I arrived at the beginning of June and will finish my research mid-August. At the point of writing this I have been here around 5 weeks – I’d say I’m mostly familiar with the parts of Balinese culture you encounter day to day. I understand the offerings and temples you see everywhere – I have even taken part in ceremony twice myself having borrowed Balinese Kebaya of a colleagues wife. 

At ceremony wearing kebaya

So one evening after indulging in tuna pepes and arak with the guys that work in front of house roles within the company, they invite me to join them to go to a temple for ceremony. Although I’m not Hindu, I enjoy the spirituality within the ceremony and the ritual itself. As I’ve told my closest Balinese friend here – you pray to your God and I’ll pray to mine. A couple of hours later we arrive at someone’s house – not technically a temple at all. However this house temple is supposed to be important/special somehow and once a month they invite people in to partake in ceremony. 

I’m kneeling down with my colleagues, completing the now familiar ritual by putting rice on my forehead and chest, when one of our friends starts shaking and grunting. The owners of the house stand up immediately and go to bring back the black and white checkered fabric that you see everywhere within the religion – mainly the small umbrellas and wrapped around the base of the temples. They tie two strips of the material around each of my friends arms and a more colourful one around his neck. When he stands, it is quite apparent to me that he is not himself. He has ,in fact, been possessed by the spirit of God, and is handed several sticks of lit incense to hold. 

Villa staff at ceremony

I must admit this is the part of the night I found most uncomfortable. As I reflect on the situation, I may have reacted differently had it not been someone I know and like so much. The noises and demeanour adopted by him once possessed made me uncomfortable – and yes I will openly admit that I got a bit overwhelmed and cried and asked to leave the room. We only left and sat outside the room, which was all glass anyway, so we could still witness everything. 

I think throughout the duration of the event 6 people were possessed, each acting differently. One woman – and the one that amused me most – just walked around very sultry, chain smoking cigarettes (I definitely have a theory she wasn’t possessed and just wanted to smoke – something I haven’t seen many women here openly doing). Another rather large gentleman would lean down over something burning, inhale the smoke then lean up and give a small speech and then repeat the process. 

Prayers

Everyone who was possessed got wrapped in either a white sheet of fabric around their waist or two checkered strips around each arm. The possessed people seemed to be able to impart their state onto other people – I watched my friend throw a metaphorical ball of energy at a woman, who then turned into the one chain smoking. Then she hit another woman on the forehead with the bottom of her palm and the hit woman screamed out in pain and started dancing. 

I must admit I was scared someone may touch me and I may become possessed – but I was reassured only certain people are born with the ability to channel the Gods this way. 

There was a cleansing ceremony conducted by my possessed friends. Part of it included opening a young coconut in order to drink it and extinguishing incense into it before drinking it. More likely to make you ill than cleansed in my western opinion – but then what do I know. 

 One of scariest and most unique experiences of my trip so far and one not to be forgotten in a hurry.

Koh Phangan

Backdated: 5th July 2012

We arrived in Ayutthaya train station at 12.00pm and then spent the next 30 hours either traveling or inside train/bus stations. It was absolutely knackering it has to be said. We met our first Americans of the whole trip – which may sound an odd thing to point out but there was a serious lack of Americans anywhere else is our travels - just lots of Europeans, Canadians and Aussies. 

Arriving in Phangan

So we arrived in Koh Phangan about 5 hours late due to various delays along the way as is to be expected of travelling in Thailand. We checked into our guesthouse and headed straight for the beach, despite the fact the sun was nearly set already. It was just a relief to be able to put our feet on sand and in the sea finally. 

We relaxed in the evening and called in an early night. The next day we got up and hired and bike (just one… after much deliberation, I finally decided to let Len drive). We spent the morning riding round, getting lost several times, visiting waterfalls. We wondered if we have even managed to find the first one at all, just a pathetic slither of water over some rocks. We scrambled up the rocks a little way to see if it was higher up but decided if it was up ahead it was too far. So we tried the next one. This one was more impressive than the first but still pretty pathetic! The lady at the waterfall told us that Phangan had no rain and all the waterfalls were pretty low. So we decided to give up on the waterfall ideas and just head to the beach. We were staying on Haad Yao, which I have to say was a lovely beach. We tried a few but that one was definitely my favourite. We spent most of the rest of the afternoon there, but eventually got bored and went to get changed etc and then try to find a view point that is marked up on the map. 

Exploring lush beaches

Unfortunately being the fool I am, I left the map at home when I was getting changed. Luckily Len guessed, and we did find a view point. Not sure it was the right one but it was nice. Stupidly steep – tried and failed to ride the bike up the hill and had to walk. Not really sure where the viewpoint was because the concrete ended and went to a dirt track we gave up walking up. So not even sure if we looked from the proper view point. It was still beautiful. There were no lights on the track up so we decided to head back before the actual sunset and try to get back to the beach to watch it. However this plan was ruined as the bike spluttered and gave up on us half way home. We knew there was nothing wrong with the bike so we knew we must have just been out of gas. Well… I say nothing wrong with the bike, but I think it goes without saying that the petrol meter thing wasn’t working. Another stroke of luck meant that some Irish people had also broken down further up the hill due to a flat tyre. One of them offered to go and get us some on the one of the two bikes that was working – a real life saver. 

We missed the sunset and so decided to treat ourselves to relaxing oil massages on the beach to overcome the stress. It was lush and we then went to get food on the beach but by the time the food came we were both half asleep and not very hungry. 

The next day we decided to rent the bike for another day and enquired about elephant trekking but we felt that the price was too high for the amount of time and considering that the waterfalls were empty so we wouldn’t trek to the waterfalls. So we went to Koh Ma and went snorkelling instead. Took a little while to get over water in the eye but it was really good fun eventually and cheap because we just hired the snorkel and didn’t go on a trip. There is a sand strip you can walk to get to the reefy bit. So worth it. 

My bucket of booze

We then just decided to ride the bike around and explore the island… great fun. We also booked our transport over to Krabi for the day after the Full Moon Party. 

Full Moon Party

Then we went over the Haad Rin early intended to meet a friend for dinner but ended up just completely lost and unable to find a commonplace to meet. So we just got painted and went into the party early. Buying whiskey buckets and chicken burgers. We then found our friends in the party – it was a really good atmosphere and we had a really good time early on. Unfortunately we peaked quite early and ended up home by 2.30.. FMP definitely something I need to try again haha.

ah-YOO-tayar

Backdated: 29th June 2013

Me and my bike

Today was our full day in Ayutthaya, after arriving yesterday and grabbing some grub. We decided today we would either rent bicycles or motorbikes – depending on rental prices. We enquired: 80 baht (£1.60) for two bicycles for the day or 400 baht (£8) for two motorbikes for the day. Although when you convert it into English money, the motorbikes were a good deal, we decided to be stingy and sweat it out on the push bikes. 

We had already drawn up a rough route on the awful tourist map they give you here (there are no street names on the map so even figuring out where we were staying was difficult. I spent 20mins last night using lonely planet and google maps to figure it out and scribble all the names onto it). Our route encompassed Wat Phanan Choeng (with its 19m high gold Buddha), Wat Chai Wattanaram, Wat Phra Si Sanphet, Wat Phra Mahathat and Wat Ratburana. We had planned to do the two that were furthest away and off the island first and then basically work our way home, however we changed this plan on the advice of the lovely lady from Tour With Thai who told us that Wat Chai Wattanaram was lovely at sunset. 

Big Buddha

So we began by cycling down to the ferry port and jumping on the ferry that took us and our bikes to ‘big Buddha’. We were so sweaty and hot from the cycle there, and we didn’t have a clue where we were headed. Luckily for us it became a game of hot or cold with the admission fee collection lady. Every time we would head towards somewhere that was wrong she would yell over ‘helloa, big Buddha’ and ambiguously point in the direction we were already headed. We just kept trying until we eventually spotted hoards of Chinese tourists swarming around a doorway. It was the doorway that lead to the wihan housing the huge Buddha. I found the statue extremely impressive but couldn’t help but think it should be housed in a bigger hall. There was only about 3m in front of the Buddha where people were kneeling praying and the small entrance made it difficult to actually get in and appreciate the huge Buddha comfortably. After seeing the Buddha, we wasted no time and hopped straight back onto the ferry and headed towards the Elephant Kraal where elephants used to be gathered and trained for war. 

There is now a company who take abused elephants and take tourists on rides around the ruins with the elephants dressed up in royal outfits. Not sure how much I believe they’re ACTUALLY trying to do good as the elephants are still being trained to sit and pose with tourists and still be loaded with the chairs that I hear are bad for them. On top of that, it costs 400 baht (£8) per person for a 20 minute ride around ruins that you don’t want to see (not strictly true - I’m sure they’re nice but they’re not the important ones). So we decided, for all reasons listed above, to give it a miss and cycle on to Wat Phra Si Sanphet. 

Rocking the audioguide

After missing the entrance the first time and cycling around to Wat Mahathat and Wat Ratburana, we made our way back and found the entrance. We bought our entrance tickets and I purchased the 3 Wat audiobook (Wat Phra Si Sanphet, Wat Mahathat and Wat Chai Wattanaram). The guy on the audio tour made a point of saying ‘ah-YOO-ta-yarr’ really exaggerated every single time he said it. It was annoying and impressive in equal measures – annoying because the sentences hardly flowed and impressive that he didn’t forget for a single time the City name was used. As I walked around to all the stops, hopping from shade to shade, I found the audio tour to be really good value. Having not really read too much about the history here and not having time to visit a museum it gave the visits some meaning. 

Remains of Buddhas body

We then moved onto Mahathat and Ratburana, which were both lovely. On the way over to them, however, we realised that Len’s back tyre was flat so we decided that after these we would head back to the shop to see what the lady would say and also get a well needed shower. I must confess, after hearing the jet-ski/motorbike scams that happen here in Thailand where the company set up that the vehicle is damaged and then make you pay unscrupulous amounts of money for repairs, I was panicking that the lady was going to turn evil and insist we pay her hundreds of pounds for a tyre. However, to the credit of Tour With Thai, she just told us it was probably a thorn, there were lots of them in the historical park and told Len to pick another bike. PHEW! 

Buddha head wrapped in tree roots

After our showers and some dinner we set off for Wat Chai Wattanaram. Wow was that longer than I could handle… We ended up walking with the bikes for some of the journey, particularly the smaller roads and the steep bridge. But eventually we made it. Only to be told that the temple was damaged in the recent floods and we could do nothing but sit in the car park and look at it! We were there much earlier than sunset as we had allowed time to complete our audio tour and then sit and watch the sunset there. However it is fair to say we were shattered from the long ride and didn’t want to sit there forever waiting for the sunset knowing we had that journey back to do. So we recuperated for half hour or so then set of straight back. When we arrived back the lady instantly says ‘what are you doing here? It’s sunset now!’ and then laughs at us when she sees our exhausted and sweaty faces. 

All in all, our bike rental was a successful experience. We only had one collision – and that was with each other! We were on a roundabout: 
Me: is there anything coming or can we cross (the junction) 
Len: no we’re fine (2 seconds pass) motorbike (a second passes and I immediately start to brake – Len is still looking over his shoulder) actually nah, go! 
CRASH. 
Len: FUCK! 

Auditioning for 'house band'

After yet another shower (our third of the day) we head out to the same place we ate yesterday to chill out with cheap (and extremely strong) cocktails and a live band doing there audition to see if they could be the ‘house band’. They were good, as were the drinks and food yesterday. Chang house – if you’re visiting Ayutthaya you get much better food and service than other (nicer looking) places to eat on the street.